Restoration
by katastrophic88
Summary: Sometimes even the strongest of men, need restoration of heart. HepahistionAlexander. Fluff fic


**Figured I would try my hand at Alexander fan fiction, after all, he is my hero.**

**Disclaimer: None of the great Heroes are mine or yours for that matter.

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I must admit, the boy does dance brilliantly. Watching Bagoas entrance the whole room with his serpentine moves and heavenly looks is a feat not many, save Alexander, can boast of accomplishing. And yet he seems so innocent. The one person most likely to steal my Alexander away from me, between that and his never ending dream of going east.

I hardly care if Alexander chooses to bed another besides me; he does have Roxane after all. It is when he publicizes the fact, like he has just done in kissing Bagoas in front of all, forcing me to endure snickers and amused stares throughout the night. It is not because these men care for my heart or feelings, but because they believe my place has been taken by a pretty Persian whore. I don't dare avert my eyes as Alexander continues his lip lock with the eunuch; to do so would confirm the men's suspicions. Needless to say, my heart is pained to watch such a display of blatant lust.

If lust was the only thing driving my King's interest in this love slave, than I would not dare to question his feelings for me. Problem being, my beloved Alexander falls a little bit in love with everyone and everything he touches. Jealousy does not plague me, to be jealous of every little thing Alexander pays attention and love to would cause me to die a very early death. A little bit of hurt does cloud my normally calm mood, because I have not spoken to my friend in quite awhile, outside of public eyes anyway.

I should feel grateful though, he talks to me a great deal more than he does Roxane, poor woman. She didn't quite get the husband she thought she was. I really can't imagine why Alexander wanted to marry her in the first place; it certainly hasn't accomplished anything except ill will towards him.

As the night progresses, I manage to slip away unnoticed by most, yet I feel Alexander's eyes boring into my back as I leave the room. Normally I would turn around to flash him a quick smile, tonight I can't find it in me to do so. I feel tired, emotionally, physically, mentally. Someone has to walk the earth while Alexander floats with his head in the clouds, and for once in a very long time, I resent him for his dreams. The man is my heart, my soul, my best friend but for the gods' sakes can he not see what is clearly in front of him? He refuses to believe that his men, his Macedonian men will turn on him if he does not heed their wishes. Even I am beginning to think longingly of home. Pella, Mieza, even Athens, I care not so long as I am away from this accursed endless jungle.

My noiseless entry to my quarters slips by Ophelos and Halis, my two most loyal pages. They are cuddled together on a couch reading the story of Herakles together; Halis's sing song voice soothing even my grated nerves. I lean in the doorway and cock my head to listen; tenderly observing the two lovers as I reminisce back to when I was Ophelos's age, except the youth I was cuddled next to was Alexander. I can't recall how many times we would spend a whole evening simply reading stories to each other, relishing in each other's love and presence. How I wish I could go back to those dear times, when there was only us and no pressing concerns of a king and general.

I sigh and it is then that Ophelos notices me standing in the doorway, instantly jumping up and sputtering apologies. I laugh and wave off his guilt as I turn to compliment Halis on his reading voice, requesting that he read for me sometime, with his companion's permission of course. The blush that covers his tan cheeks and the slight smile lightens my heart, and I ruffle his brown hair affectionately. The duo helps me to prepare for bed and I politely turn down Ophelos's request to brush my hair, telling him to braid it for now and wait to brush it until morning. Halis then proceeds to tuck me in much like a babe, much to Ophelos and my amusement, his large green eyes glaring at his lover when he is fondly called a "mother hen." I tell the two to sleep well and lay still, hoping that I will be able to find sleep as well.

The sound of happy Macedonians, due to the numbing affects of too much wine, wakes me from my much needed slumber, happy shouts and drunken songs waking those that were sleep. I hear Alexander's deep voice shouting goodnights to all who can hear him, his light laughter carrying above the gruff voices of footmen, cavalry, and his companions alike. I also hear him call for Bagoas, although I wish I did not. For some silly reason I thought that he would come to me tonight, or at least I hoped he would.

It has been so long since I have really _talked_ to my Alexander, never mind make love with him. I miss him so, even though I gaze upon him everyday, and hear his voice bark commands to all near him. I simply wish that he would come back to me, to revive my spirits, to renew my faith. That is all I want.

Just as I resolved to forget the longings of my heart, I hear the door to my bedroom open, and I immediately know that it is him. My heart still manages to skip a beat every time he is near; this time is no different.

"Hephaistion?" He questions uncertainly, quietly. Trying to discern whether I am awake or not.

"Yes Alexander?" I answer, not bothering to get up for I know that he will soon join me. I smile as I feel his weight settle next to me on the bed, his strong arms wrapping around me as he slides under the covers. There is a pause, and I know that he wants to talk of something important concerning us; it is the only time he ever hesitates.

"Do you question whether I love you or not?" I turn and my blue eyes seek his brown ones in the dark, a small, enigmatic smile gracing my lips.

"No my Alexander, I only question how much." I watch the emotions run across his face, shock, anger, disappointment and a bit of sadness. He reaches up to trace the scar that mars my left cheek with gentle fingers, a wound given to me at the Battle of Gaugamela.

"Why? What have I done my gentle Hephaistion, my Beloved General?" He asks in earnest, and I do hate to pain him so. It will be next to impossible to get him to stop blaming himself, and to believe that it is actually my own insecurities that cause me to doubt his love.

"Alexander, when we were boys, we were hatchlings, you a baby hawk, while I was a baby robin. We both had yet to find our way to fly, to soar high in the skies." I silence Alexander's protest with a soft hand on his lips, silently asking him to let me continue. "Now, as men, we are full grown, and have found our wings. You have full range of the sky and you can go wherever your powerful wings and the breeze may carry you. I, however, am only a robin and no matter how fast or hard I may fly, your wings outstrip me by far my King. I merely fear that I will loose sight of you over that next hilltop, and someone else with wings as great as yours will take a bigger part of your heart."

"Oh my dear, sweet Hephaistion…you are no robin. You are my right wing, without which I could never fly to these heights. You are my heart, and without you, I would cease to function, and would surely die. I love you with all that I am; as much as any mortal man…is capable of loving someone, is how much I love you." He seals his words with a tender kiss to my trembling lips as I vainly try to fight off tears that had been held back for far too long. "My love, please never for a moment doubt _how_ much I love you, for it is more than the gods could measure, my Patrocolus."

I curse softly as the tears spill from my eyes, making Alexander chuckle as he kisses them away with soft lips. I tilt my head up so that his lips meet mine in a deep kiss as we try to convey our love for each other through the action alone. "My Alexander…My Achilles, forgive me for my doubts…I will not question your love for me again." A benign smile is my answer as he moves to embrace me in his arms, my ear pressed to his chest. I hear the steady thumping of his heart and I smile to think that my love for Alexander is the thing that keeps it going, that keeps him going.

He takes me that night, slowly and passionately; reinforcing his words with kisses and caresses. I revel in the feeling as we join as one again, in body and soul. There is no lust in the action, but only the deepest love and I realize that this is what sets me above Bagoas and even Roxane herself. I bite my lip to keep from waking Ophelos and Halis in the next room with my cries of pleasure, my body arching under my Alexander's knowing touches. As we reach the pinnacle of our loving, Alexander clutches me close to his person and says huskily and forcefully into my ear, "I love _you_ Hephaistion and only you." I can only moan in response as his words and touch brings me to the completion my body and soul so craves.

With a gasp he releases his love into me, slender hips bucking of their own free will as he rides out the wave of his orgasm. I lay beneath him panting as he rolls away from me, running a sun bronzed hand through his sweaty mane as he recaptures his breath. My king chuckles at my starry eyed expression and I swat him on the stomach for it, smirking at his grunt of surprise. He grabs my hand and pulls me into his arms before dragging the cover over our rapidly cooling bodies.

Our breathing slows as we reach the precipice of falling into a deep, much needed sleep and I can feel my lips forming words I didn't mean to say. "Please, never leave me Xander…I need you too much…I love you too much."

In response Alexander's lips touch my neck and his slender fingers lace through mine, his arms holding me in a tight embrace. "Never Hephaistion, not even in death will I leave you." I nod my head and allow sleep to claim me once again, in the loving arms of my Alexander.

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**Thats a wrap, reviews are much appreciated! Til next time!**


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